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Chapter 12. Personality

You may have a proposition that shouts for itself, a proposition that is the best yet, but if your salesman has a colorless personality, you might as well shove the sample into the arms of a straw man for all the good such a pale individual will do.

And it is the same in the sales letter. If you expect to magnetize your prospects money you must put a personal touch into your letters not egotism, but your own honest, personal conviction, interwoven so thoroughly into your customers personality that he feels you understand him and that he understands you.

This is the subtle effect of successful letter personality. It unties the wallet strings where the custom-made letter goes to the basket. It creates confidence where exaggeration and hot air breed distrust. It gets the business where the cold, serious, matter of fact communication falls on deaf ears. And this is true because the letter with a personality is different. It stands out from its stereotyped companions like a strong man in a crowd.

Letters that really have a personality are order getters because of the two elements that are woven into them the man-to-man attitude and originality of thought and expression. And these elements are found in every part of the letter salutation, body, close, signature and postscript.

This should be remembered, however, in this matter of approach, that sales letters are distinctly of two kinds the unsolicited letter and the reply to an inquiry. In the first you must announce yourself and win your own audience; in the second you come at the buyers invitation.

Naturally the first situation demands certain preliminaries winning the readers attention and interest before you can get down to a hard-as-nails business proposition. In the other instance you can slide over the prelude and talk your proposition from the getaway.

But even though you are approaching a man for the first time, there is no reason why you cannot take the man-to-man attitude. What you want is his interest and there is no surer way of getting it than talking to him about himself.

Look at your proposition from his point of view. Talk about the things he is interested in. Talk to him in his own words, his phrases. Express your ideas as he would. Make your letter a personal talk, full of life and action.

If you are trying to sell a man a pair of shoes, don't talk about your shoes until you have mentioned his. Take him to his own closet and drive home your shoe talk there.

Note how this letter addressed by a book publisher to bankers, strikes out with a vitally interesting statement in the most conversational kind of way:

Dear Mr. Brown:

As soon as I learned the other day that your bank was making special efforts to secure more depositors this winter, I had the manager of our printing department get the enclosed proof for you.

It is really the most significant announcement that has been made to American bankers in years. And even though it is being printed in some of the big magazines, where you might see it, I am having this special proof sent to you direct so that no circumstance can deprive you of the opportunity it offers.

For here is a chance to secure in complete, worked-out form the exact, practical plan you need to double or triple your business.

If you were a banker, would that letter get by you? It might, but I doubt it, for the moment you start to read that letter you must realize that someone is talking to you about a matter that is very important to you.

Notice, too, how a carriage manufacturer gets your attention from the start when he writes this way:

Dear Mr. Smith:

I wonder how near your ideas and mine would agree in the selection of a buggy, and if a buggy that I would build for my own use would suit you. Every year I build a new buggy for myself not because I wear out a buggy in one years time, but because I am always able to sell my last years carriage to a liveryman here for as much as it cost me.

I built myself a new buggy this year, which was finished a little over two weeks ago, and I used it just one day when a particular friend of mine offered me $5.00 more for it than the regular price, and I let him have it.

As this buggy took so well and everyone seemed to like it so much, I immediately arranged to get out a limited number of special jobs under the same specifications, and they are now nearing completion. One I am going to use myself, and I am going to give you an opportunity to get one of the others.

Thus the proposition goes swinging along naturally to a close so strong that I must answer the letter if I am in the market for a carriage at all. He compels me to feel his interest in the proposition, excites my attention and inspires a quick appreciation of what he has to sell, by talking to me as if I were in his office.

Of course, this man-to-man element of the letter must be qualified to suit the conditions of the prospect and the proposition. You wouldn't write to Bill Sikes, of Rising Sun, Nebraska, the same kind of a letter that you prepared for W.C. Chesterton of Boston. If Bill got W. C.s letter, in which you spoke of his wife's elevation to the Colonial Dames, he would think you were kidding him. If W.C. got Bills letter of coyotes and potato bugs, he would throw it in the wastebasket with a shiver of literary disgust. Put in the heart-to-heart element, but in every case, be sure that it is right.

The second element of the personality letter unconventional expression usually follows if the writer really established his man-to-man relationship. But there are certain divisions in the letter where positive effort must be made to tear away from a slavish following of custom.

Particularly is this true when an inquiry solicits your reply. Get right into your proposition from the start and, as you hope and strive to be natural, avoid the old formalities.

The average introduction with its We beg and Pursuant to your request is as useless as a third leg. Such expressions as Enclosed herewith take up the readers time, detract from the main idea, and are absolutely foolish. You might just as well attach stickers, saying inanely, This is an envelope and This is a sheet of paper.

If you asked a salesman for prices on his best hurdy-gurdy or whatnot, it isn't likely that he would clear his throat, hitch up his trousers and launch into a seventeenth century prelude. Not much. He would snap out something like this, and skirmish for a sale: We have three styles of hurdy-gurdys, one at so much, another at this much, and so on. The salesman is interested in sales and so are you. Why not take a lesson of him, then, chop off the hackneyed preface? What is the sense of obscuring the real issue by a lengthy prelude, useless apology, a request to write, or begging for permission to advise? Get down to brass tacks and catch your prospects attention from the start.

Note how this manufacturer goes straight to the point in his opening: Dear Mr. Davis:

Your goods may leave the factory in the best of condition. But how do they reach their destination? Any freight house is likely to be over-crowded any day, and open platforms and wharves piled high with freight. Your goods are not favored they are just as likely to be left outside as any. And a sudden rain may absolutely ruin them.

Why not insure your shipments against rain, snow, fog against rust or warp or mildew. You can do it absolutely with Andrews Waterproof Wrapping.

Andrews Waterproof is made of just three things: heavy tough paper, perfect waterproofing and reinforcing cloth, giving extra toughness and strength. No matter how awkward or irregular the shape of your product, sharp corners or projections will not poke through. And your goods will reach their destination as dry and sound as when they left your shipping room.

Like a good salesman, this writer launched into his subject without prelude or apology.

Originality of thought and expression is really shown in the body of the letter more than in the salutation and close, for there the opportunities are almost limitless. For instance, observe the stilted style of this tiresome long drawn-out sentence:

Our connections are such as to make it possible for you to place your order with us right here in the City, where we can show you the goods and demonstrate the efficiency of our cars, and we hope that just as soon as you receive the catalogue you will look it over carefully and make it a point of call at our sales room which is connected with our general offices, and give us an opportunity to show you what our cars will do.

And then turn to the refreshing ease of expression in this from a local tailor:

Do you know that Henry has been cutting clothes for some of Atlanta s best dressers for the last ten years and that many of our old customers run in from out of town just to get that perfection of fit that they know only Henry can five them? This is just an indication of the confidence particular dressers have in our ability to give clothes comfort and satisfaction.

Here the writer has even referred to his cutter by name. The ordinary writer, if he mentioned the cutter at all, would have spoken of him simply as an employee.

But this is not all there is to a letter. A writer who has injected personality into his salutation and halfway through his letter to end in some such trite phrase as, Hoping to hear from you by return mail, we are, is as bad as the correspondent who uses stereotyped expressions throughout. Both blunt their effect on the prospect.

The closing paragraph should force the prospect into action not put him to sleep with such hackneyed expressions as trusting we shall hear from you and begging to remain. Such conventional baggage only loads down a letter and means nothing. The prospect knows that you hope for his business and trust he will answer your letter.

If your communication demands a distinct close, say something new, typical of life, as, for instance: Sign and mail the order now, before it slips your mind.

Just say the word and the samples are yours.

Can you afford to overlook this when it means dollars to you?

Millions of unread letters are tossed to the wastebasket because they lack personality. From beginning to end they look alike. They beg this and trust that. Its we do and You don't until the reader is as bored as you are with your neighbors one-record talking machine. Successful correspondents are learning that hackneyed salutations and strained complimentary closes are lost on the prospect, that it is, above all the man-to-man element the office talk on paper that gets the orders.

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My Dear Sir:

Use of worn out figure Opportunity comes to a man's door only once. He must be prepared when it knocks at his door, and answer ready, otherwise he is a failure; a drudge, trudging along daily on a pittance, awaiting the end, with no one but himself to blame. He did not grasp his opportunity.

Too General Get out of the rut and into a field of greater knowledge, and thus be prepared to command, yea even insure a larger income. Business men are coming to recognize the value of a better knowledge of existing conditions, of organization and systematization. The factory expert may safely without fear of contradiction be said to be the Business Advisor of today. [Directness entirely lacking] He assists in the organizing of a business, and much if not the greater part of the success of the manufacturer must be attributed to the wisdom and grasp of the business foresight of the accountant.

No explanation or argument But it is no longer necessary or you to depend upon an outsider for help in organizing and conducting your business. Here is your opportunity to become and expert yourself at a nominal cost. Fill out your order and get our book just published on Factory Organization. This book has been completely rewritten giving you the latest and most up-to-date work extant

Offer not clear and weak close Our prospectus fully explains the scope of the work and qualification of the writer. Any further information desired will be cheerfully given on request. This is your only opportunity to take advantage of a special offering. Will you grasp it? Act at once! Awaiting the courtesy of a reply, we are

Very truly yours

Here is a letter that is full of generalities and so lacking in personality that it entirely misses the individual appeal. The proposition offered is not mentioned until the third paragraph and then in an incidental way.

Note how the same book proposition is handled in the rewritten letter opposite a letter as personal as a call over the phone. In this second sheet, proverbs and axioms are displaced by reasons why the chance to buy is worth real cash to the particular reader every hour of his factory day

Note how the same book proposition is handled in the rewritten letter opposite a letter as personal as a call over the phone. In this second sheet, proverbs and axioms are displaced by reasons why the chance to buy is worth real cash to the particular reader every hour of his factory day.

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Exact place and date Mr. Pages Office. Tuesday, January tenth. My dear Mr. Colby:

Extremely personal opening wins confidence This morning I received from our printers some news that I feel certain will be of interest to you. And because I do feel that this is a matter of unusual importance I am writing today to you and a few more of our warmest and oldest friends, so that I may hear from you and have the benefit of your opinion before any public announcement is made.

Explanation I will receive from our printers Thursday a few advance copies of C.P. Watson's Factory Organization a business book that I honestly believe will save you more REAL DOLLARS than any other book in print.

Reason for offer We have issued no printed matter about Factory Organization. But even a VOLUME of printed matter could not show you its value as will the book itself. So I want to send you the book. I do not expect you to BUY it blindly. I merely want you to look it over AT MY RISK and give me your frank opinion of it.

Argument YOU WOULD WILLINGLY RISK A DOZEN TIMES $2.00 for a SINGLE plan that would reduce your factory costs ALONE. Yet this book contains 22 money saving plans that will reduce expenses throughout your whole business plans of hiring and handling employees-plans that will check every leak and waste in your factory and office. And I do not ask you to RISK ONE SINGLE PENNY to secure them.

Persuasion and inducement Merely send for the book on approval. The $2.00 you forward will not be regarded as a remittance but as a deposit. And then, if ANY SINGLE CHAPTER alone is not worth $5.00 CASH to you, I will not only send you may check for $2.00 but I will remit you in all $2.10 to pay you in addition for your postage and trouble in looking over the book.

Clincher Merely pin a $2.00 bill to this letter mail tonight if possible and use the envelope enclosed.

Yours very truly,

He is offered a particular proved opportunity, not general dissertation. This contrast illustrates the possibilities of the use of the personal element.

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RESOLUTION to buy is a whetted razor edge. Don't over strop it; don't hit it with a brick. When its prime put it to work